My grandmother's first visitation was yesterday. Although I teared up several times I didn't cry. At first I wondered if something was wrong with me, but after thinking about it... I have cried after every visit for 2 years now.
No, there's nothing wrong with you. We all act/react in different ways. Part of your grieving journey began long ago and you have shed tears. Guess what, my friend. You will shed them again. And maybe again after that. And that's OK -- and so is NOT shedding them. There is an odd strength we get at those things -- welcoming others, hearing their stories, feeling their strength. And consciously or not, we often smile and greet and listen and don't have the time to cry.
There isn't a soul who doesn't know how much you loved her. Crying isn't necessarily the expression of love. It's release -- and when you can, you will.
And now I've said way too much, except I wish I could be there, just so you had my support too.
2 comments:
Awh,,,I so sorry Jess!!! I truly am sorry! Still in my thoughts and prayers!
xoxoxooxox
No, there's nothing wrong with you. We all act/react in different ways. Part of your grieving journey began long ago and you have shed tears. Guess what, my friend. You will shed them again. And maybe again after that. And that's OK -- and so is NOT shedding them. There is an odd strength we get at those things -- welcoming others, hearing their stories, feeling their strength. And consciously or not, we often smile and greet and listen and don't have the time to cry.
There isn't a soul who doesn't know how much you loved her. Crying isn't necessarily the expression of love. It's release -- and when you can, you will.
And now I've said way too much, except I wish I could be there, just so you had my support too.
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